Friday, August 1, 2008

the most pleasant auto accident I've ever been in

I got into the mildest wreck I've ever been in late last night, while coming home from work on my motorcycle.

I was sitting still, waiting on a light to change, and there was this thunk. It was sorta odd and confusing, and louder than it was jarring. I had gotten pushed forwards a bit, and I think I accidentally dumped the clutch as the bike sorta slid forwards some more while I turned to glower at whoever was behind me. I got off and inspected the damage, which was minimal, and looked up to see both the driver and passenger hadn't moved. I'm pretty sure the guys hands were still at 2 and 10. I walked over and noticed something wrong with the drivers lip as I got closer. It looked like he had smashed it and it swelled to gross proportions. For just a second I thought he might have hit it on the steering wheel, but I realized it was such a small accident there was no way, and it wouldn't have swelled like that in an hour, let alone a few moments.
I got to the side of the car, and figuring only a drunk would hit a stopped vehicle at midnight, I was rewarded with a drunk.

He had a chew in that was so big it looked like he had a shit-covered golf ball in his lip. When I got there all he said was "Is it all right?". I didn't have a real answer for that, not expecting that particular version of the post wreck question. I mumbled yes while trying to think of some damaged part, but as I reexamined the scene the miraculous truth was no. The license plate
got pretty bent up under the tail, and there was a bit of a mark on the underside of the muffler but thats about it. Oddly his car had some gouging on the hood where my muffler had scraped up it, and the bumper might have been damaged, but who can tell on a shitbox like that in the dark.

insert car here

I wasn't hurt, and the bike was ok, and I was way tired so I just wanted out. I got the dudes name and number, checked his license to make sure the name was real (which took a while for him to produce in his state), and split.

I felt a little bad letting a lush right back out onto the road, but fuck it. After an accident if he didn't pay more attention he's probably destined for a fatal single car accident on the way home.